Post by Turtleleaf on Aug 7, 2012 13:45:24 GMT -6
GETTING MORE DEPTH OUT OF YOUR RP.
I think that during one-on-one conversations between characters one liners and short posts are vital. But there are also benefits to writing more in-depth and detailed RP posts.
Lionpaw followed Echostar out of camp. (6 words).
Well, that’s a little bit simple. It doesn’t really tell much of a story and doesn’t reveal much about Lionpaw as a character. One main benefit of more detailed posts is they give the people you’re RP-ing with something to go off of.
For example, how did Lionpaw follow Echostar?
Well, Lionpaw has a limp.
Lionpaw hobbled after Echostar who was heading out of camp. (10 words).
Lionpaw has been lazing around camp all day (apparently), so the muscles in his back leg are likely to be sore and the limp worse than usual.
The muscles in his back leg were stiff from his lack of activity and so Lionpaw hobbled after Echostar as she headed out of camp. (25 words).
Straight away we get a more detailed picture, Lionpaw is being slow, Echostar may request for him to hurry his pace, decide to cancel the training session due to his long-term injury or go at a slower pace that would suit Lionpaw, she may even scold him for not making a good use of his time when not training. These are all things revealed in the extra details added.
The extra descriptions change the way characters interact with each other. Description of their body language is important, characters don’t always reveal everything with words.
The muscles in his back leg were stiff from his lack of activity, but Lionpaw had been eagerly awaiting this moment of opportunity to develop his skills as a Warrior and so he dutifully lifted his paws a little higher and marched on, determined to see the lesson to the end and followed Echostar on her way out of camp. (60 words).
In comparison;
The muscles in his back leg were stiff from his lack of activity, irritated by having to put additional wait on his already injured limb, Lionpaw followed Echostar on her way out of camp, with his shoulders slouched and his paws dragging along the floor. (45 words).
This gives two very different ideas for Lionpaw’s character (the first post is more like him, the second would be considered OOC) and Echostar’s character is likely to react accordingly, as she is able to see a better picture of the character. Lifting his pawsteps and marching on, is more enthusiastic and likely to be received positively however, by slouching and dragging his paws Lionpaw seems more sullen and this is likely to be received negatively.
Lionpaw followed Echostar out of Camp. (6 words).
If we read this post again. What do we really know about Lionpaw? From this we can’t tell that he is excited for battle training or that he has a limp and can’t keep up with his leader. These things are revealed in the extra detail, those additional words. For all we know, he could be happy, he could be sad, he could be as fit as a fiddle or he could be on the verge of death, we wouldn’t know any better. How do you expect the person you’re RP-ing with to know these aspects of your character if you don’t show them in your post?
The muscles in his back leg were stiff from his lack of activity, but Lionpaw had been eagerly awaiting this moment of opportunity to develop his skills as a Warrior and so he dutifully lifted his paws a little higher and marched on, determined to see the lesson to the end and followed Echostar on her way out of camp. (60 words).
This post not only shows us the physical actions undertaken by Lionpaw but also his mental state whilst doing them. A good thing to do when composing your posts is to ask questions.
Lionpaw followed Echostar out of Camp. (6 words).
But how did he follow her? Did her follow her energetically or despondently?
Just keep write something and then ask questions, how, why?
Lionpaw caught sight of a mouse.
How did he catch sight of it?
Out of the corner of his eye, Lionpaw caught sight of a mouse.
What was the mouse doing?
Out of the corner of his eye, Lionpaw caught sight of a mouse that was hurrying back to its nest.
Why was it hurrying back to its nest?
Out of the corner of his eyes, Lionpaw caught sight of a mouse that was hurrying back to its nest to share food with its family.
Where was the mouse? Where was Lionpaw?
Half hidden behind a thicket of brambles Lionpaw caught sight of a mouse out of the corner of his eye; the mouse seemed to be in a hurry, the small berries in its mouth suggested it was going home to feed its family.
How does Lionpaw feel?
Half hidden behind a thicket of brambles Lionpaw caught sight of a mouse out of the corner of his eye; the mouse seemed to be in a hurry, the small berries in its mouth suggested it was going home to feed its family. The young cat felt momentarily sorry for the poor creature, but he too had a family to feed.
By asking these questions as you write you develop a much more in-depth piece, which will not only be interesting to read but give a better insight into your character. Because even in the same situation two cats can act entirely differently depending on who they are.
For example, Lionpaw has a complete distrust in MoonClan whereas Sunkit has an absolute adoration for her ancestors; the way that they would interact in a situation where MoonClan is brought up would be completely different.
This doesn’t even include describing the surroundings of your character and how the influences them. If it is a cold, harsh leaf-bare, a cat may be moody or miserable or snow may leave them in awe and wonder? The sun could be too hot for them, or it could warm them to the very pits of their bellies?
I hope that this helps some of you in writing your posts. There’s nothing wrong with one-liners but this is just a simple way to up your word count and give others a better idea of your character.
Feel free to post any questions or queries for me here. If you have a simple RP post that you wish to add depth to, but can’t think of the questions yourself, post it here and I’ll ask you some questions about your character and your post to see if that will help you.
Going through this process, having started with this ‘Lionpaw followed Echostar out of Camp. (6 words).’ basic idea, I usually end up with something like this.
The muscles in his back leg were stiff from his lack of activity, but Lionpaw had been eagerly awaiting this moment of opportunity to develop his skills as a Warrior and so he dutifully lifted his paws a little higher and marched on, determined to see the lesson to the end and followed Echostar on her way out of camp.
The sun was burning bright, and hot, and so the young apprentice let out an audible sigh of relief every time they passed under a shaded patch. His greatly anticipated battle training was on the horizon, but he had the feeling that the training would be incredibly gruelling, not only from the physical exercise itself but with the added pressure of Green Leaf and the sun which was willing to sap every bit of water from their bodies. If they weren’t careful dehydration could become a big problem for the Clan’s young apprentices.
The ginger-furred tom turned his gaze to his Leader, considering her with careful eyes. The young cat couldn’t think of anybody better to teach him the way of the Warrior, after all not only had MoonClan deemed her worthy to lead PrairieClan but she’d managed to survive the Battle of the Clans. (205 words)
Note: The names used in these examples aren't cats from this site, any relation or similarities to cats on this site is purely coincidental.
